The diary of Optimus prime ("assistant" of Pep guardiola)

Dear Humans:

Here in barcelona, im starting to feel like a baby sister, i hate when Pep is absent, because i have to take care of this blaugranas babies, First, David villa is wondering how on earth is he not scoring goals, i answered because we play for Messi and not for him, then he cried and went to Liverpool to drink bourbon, God i felt like a Decepticon. Then Maxwell and Dani Alves started to fight each other beacuse they like to, Come on, then, messi said that i lookalike Mazzinger Z, and i said No shit Sherlock, and he felt like a baby, and he CRIED; HE CRIED, for lord sake, he is the best player in the world, and Xavi told me that i am Liam gallagher in robot, for god, then Bojan wanted to prank me, and i told him that Giovanni dps Santos made bettter pranks that him and he started to shout at me, then i split oil on the whole team, LOL, and they started to call Rossell to fire me, WTF?, and i said that it was a joke, then Pep came back and i explained like a brave warrior, he banned me for two match and he told me that i am Wayne Rooney in Robot, then i told him how stupid was his joke, and finnaly Iniesta gave me a Pair of boots saying that it is the beginning of a peaceful era.

And Now we beated Almeria, We will stand like a solid rock in Ukraine, and i´m selecting weapons to kill Megatron and his little idiots of Madrid, now i´m preparing all the food and the traning sessions in punishment for peeing on the players, i felt like Rio Ferdinand.

Well, the night is coming off, be a brave soldierand fight for the earth. i´m off señores.